[i woke up all night] i woke up all night horny again i just want to be knocked up i just want to walk into a room and i don't have to talk i just want to walk into that room and it's full of people and their lovely human bodies i just want and i smell all of them at once they stink so good they all look at me and smile their favorite toy is in the room but they are adults and they are reserved like adults they do not crowd around despite their eagerness for play they sit and talk in fine attire and maybe they wave or smile it is my job to walk over naked and entertain no it's like not a job or even a duty it's like my animating principle to sit on the laps of adults pale hands on their cheeks or collars responding only in groans as they tell me their lives and their needs and their loves they tell me they love me with their mouths and grasps fingers gliding up my legs like they're rolling up love into glittering snowballs they feel sticky with it into fluttering jumpscares i feel sticky with it they rest that stickiness on my lips and i inhale their fingers these tiny embers of love can only survive inside my body my body like a shelter until it becomes like a bonfire i pop slightly like a baking tray accommodating i can feel fingers or a penis tripping through my labia glittering snowballs of love tumble down my cheeks i need this i look at you until you have no choice but to look at me too i look at you until you get so hot you can't stand it something is inside of me and i calm down just a little rocking back and forth to soothe and suit myself i make little messes of myself i drip onto people's laps laps are really just another kind of heart i'm looking at you i'm looking at your heart i'm looking at your lap your hands hands are really just another kind of lap hands guide my face away from you and back to my current lover god i love you whoever you are please i love you so much feel my love pulse like an empty glass in your hands you finish or you finish me and i give you a kiss like i'm dredging feelings out from behind your molars like i'm trawling through grief like i'm crawling i stumble off your lap like today's foal and i move over to you the you looking at me from one lap away just one lap ago i stand in front of you like a ripe planet the blush extending down through my body into shapes of oceans into shapes of love you look into me and between my legs and you laugh and you laugh so hard you can see all the love i was given so greedily i just couldn't hold i can't keep anyone inside me for very long we trade smiles you pat your lap as summons and i am already there so obedient and warm so loving so ready already i think about the possibility that life is finally growing inside of me and the certainty that it will die again